This Is How You Lose Him

You lose him when you forget to remember the little things that mean the world to him: the worn pair of trainers that his father gave him when he first moved out, the courage to speak up against injustice even when one is in disadvantaged position, the contagious laughter of his childhood friends, the starry skies at night, and the first time he cried as an adult, not from weakness but from strong sensations of shared adversities.
You must remember when he forgets.

You lose him when you don’t notice that he notices everything about you: your pause mid-sentence to get more attention on the topic, your tired smile when you hold back the constellation of secrets inside, your gaze softening at the sight of sunset, your face lightening up when you talk with a child, your favourite song in the shower at 7 in the morning, your green veins at the back of the hands when you write your journal each night, and more and more of what you are, which you don’t even know about yourself, because he pays attention.

He remembers when you forget.

You lose him for every second you make him feel less and less of the man that he is. When you make him feel that you are obsessive. He wants to have the freedom to love you. When you make him feel that he is not sincere. He wants you to know he fights with the world to be with you. When you make him feel inadequate. He wants to know that he is enough and he does not need to change for you, nor for anyone else because he is he and he is trustworthy, kind and brave.

You must learn him.

You must know the reason why he is silent. You must have faith in his strength. You must give him room to breathe and grow. You must remind him that you are there. You must know how long it takes for him to accept failure. You must be there with unwithered support no matter what.

You must love him because many have tried and failed. And he wants to know that you stand up for him till the very end.


And, this is how you keep him.



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